Everything Matters and Nothing Matters
(And no, this is not a contradiction)
May 4, 2025
You are a certain arrangement of molecules that themselves are a certain configuration of mathematically compatible constructs we call atoms that themselves are a complex array of probabilistic relationships of virtual objects that are really waves that are an excitation stemming from a random fluctuation in a vacuum of inexorable nothingness that is only possible according to a certain conceptual mathematical framework which is calculable by certain multivariate equations that generate proliferating solutions endlessly which imply self-perpetuating and self-reinforcing patterns that aggregate toward increasingly complex imaginary structures which serve as differentiable objects with inherently relational but not absolute properties which imply a self-running computational program governed by internally consistent rules of interaction which necessitates a dimensional field to account for the dizzying web of information being continuously exchanged to define their relations which implies dynamical flows and fundamental forces and particles which imply ever-multiplying levels of network interconnectivity and recursive feedback loop density which are altogether so immersive, that before you know it, self-ruminating substructures emerge from the babble with just enough abstract reasoning ability to cast their gaze outward which is really a reflection inward to wonder what the hell is going on exactly.
So what the fuck to do about that.
In other words, you and everything else fathomable is the product of a purely mathematical regime where mathematical relations exist only in an abstract sense with self-referential calculations producing self-perpetuating chains of logic which create the illusion of things happening and things existing which means you probably shouldn’t take yourself so seriously but even when you do that’s okay because not taking yourself seriously is just another smug and backhanded way of taking yourself too seriously.
And that’s the problem with everything which isn’t really even a problem, but at least now you know ...
Everything you think or do is an indulgence of falsehood.
But that’s also okay because when all is a hallucination of a mathematical abstraction it is only in the depths of mirage that the subtle hints of truth can be glimpsed by that being hallucinated.
So go ahead and ignore all those thoughts which are really the running dialogue of fabricated frailty and delusion, and do not bother feeding the mind which is nothing more than a tendency to obsessively separate and collect that which is inherently undifferentiated for the purpose of building a Frankensteinian identity to be overgroomed and desperately worshipped as a false idol destined to corrode and crumble, and then to be calculated into oblivion like everything else.
Or do give into them because “You” are not in control because there is no “You”.
What you think of as “You” is really a fleeting vibrational ripple within a dimensionless vortex of an elaborate simulated information-processing exercise fueled by an orgiastic fever dream that was sparked by a stirring of wonder and curiosity that somehow awakened ex nihilo within an abject nothingness that ultimately seeks after the imperturbable harmony from which it inexplicably arose.
Of nothing in want of something in want of nothing.
Just as any given hydrogen atom is negligible to the shape and behavior of the wave, what you think of as “You” is negligible to the processes that advance implacably onward—always and everywhere—seemingly decoupled from the underlying forces, which are really ideas, that caused the groundswell to begin with.
And yet, the waves are not possible without the individual hydrogen atoms which are paradoxically not even entities which can be objectively defined as distinct from their surroundings or their generating fields that pervade all of spacetime which makes them waves within waves which really just amounts to one wave indivisible.
This means that you are not doing anything. You cannot do anything because you are the manifestation of that which is everything.
A poetic expression born of a dream indistinguishable from that which dreams.
Whether you spend your time building castles from which to luxuriate, or tearing them down to emancipate, or sitting along the roadside to contemplate and perhaps emaciate, you cannot go wrong if only because you cannot possibly go right.
So go ahead and put your heart and soul into your role onstage while at the same time looking on with detached amusement from the shadows of the gallery.
Because while the currents are chaotic and senseless in isolation, they are omniscient in their totality.
And that is “You”.
For the narrative form of this existential riff, read the novel The Subtle Cause.
